communication

This is a big thing, or should I call it – struggle for me. Yes, I know, I have cellphone, fully aware of it and it only takes a button or two to call someone. Ever since, I have not been a big on calling other people. I’d rather text than call. I mean, I do call. I call people whenever I have to meet them and let them know I’m running late or to find out where exactly they are at. And most of the time, I screen my calls – but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I always ignore your call. I always have the habit to put my cellphone on silent mode or vibrate, especially when going to work, and forget to put it back on ‘normal’ mode – which the other reason why most of the time I don’t know when people have been trying to get in touch with me. There are also days, when I wouldn’t know where I last placed my phone, and wouldn’t be bothered really looking for it – until people start calling horacio just to find out my whereabouts and if I’m ok. I just, am not that attached to my phone. Yes, I bring it around with me when I go out… and I do find it necessary to have (I have gone a day without one while I was out, and I felt like an idiot having to ask someone if I could use their phone!). But I’m just not someone who would sit down and pick up my phone and call other people to “chat”. I would rather hang-out with you and chat with you in person. Hence, I lose touch with people. See, if I don’t call you, how am I supposed to plan something and meet up with you? So, I realized that I am the type of person who are friends with a lot of people, and keeps friends who you don’t necessarily have to talk to every day and discuss every single detail of your life. I have a friend in college, we used to meet up like once a year (until she got married, moved back to Philippines, and now lives in texas…) and that was enough for us. we kept our friendship, we know what’s going on with each other’s lives. We don’t always call each other as well, we usually play phone tags (see, if you call me and leave me a message, I will call you back) but when we do catch each other, we would be on the phone for like hours!

I also realized that the best way for me to keep in touch with people is through email. I guess, writing for me is some kind of therapy. I would rather write my feelings than say it out loud. Since Sunday school began (again) in January, we were “assigned” to a prayer partner. Meaning, we had to call each other and talk about how each other was doing, create a relationship outside the class. At first, I knew it was going to be a struggle for me… just the words ‘call each other’, I knew I was going to disappoint my prayer partner(s). I was honest with them though, I told them I’m not a big phone person, and having the schedule that I have, it would also be near to impossibility to catch me on “normal” hours. So, we decided to communicate via email, and I find myself being able to respond more, communicate more.. I don’t know if it’s just because I was doing it more because it’s according to my own time and my own convenience. As I was responding to an email, I was thinking, I could have just called her and told these things to her myself… then again, the other reason why I don’t like calling – time. Yes, I may be free right now… but how about the other party? Sometimes, I feel like I’m taking much of their time or I could be in a middle of a thought and something would distract me or miss out on something. I don’t know. I’m just ADD like that.

On the other hand, maybe I just am not a big fan of picking up the phone and calling people because I grew up without a phone. Growing up my friends and I met in school, hang out, planned things, visit one another at our abode. The day that a phone was installed at our place, I was excited, I finally could call friends!! But that didn’t last too long… I would rather wait until I see them and talk to them and share things with them.

Call me a bad daughter, sister, friend, but this is just me. It’s a struggle, I know, but if you really want to talk to me, call me and leave me a message. If I don’t call you back, call me again or better, email me. I just hope people would understand and not think I am simply ignoring them.