so, it's been a while...!

wow... time really flies when you are having fun! hehehe

it seems like this blog (and the triumverate's) has been quiet for quite a long time.. no wonder mom has been pestering us on writing about something, anything! well, mom, here you go!

i really don't have anything in mind right now, just the usual random stuff... so... here goes..

wedding plans! well, well, well... that has been on people's lips each time they see me.. it seems like they think of it more that i do! hehehe i can't believe we only have six more months to go!!! although we pretty much have covered most essentials and just the minor details are needed to be taken care of... thank God i haven't been a bridezilla... yet! yes, i must admit i do have my moments of panick attacks, but thank God for horacio and my sister -- they just know how to calm those nerves!!

whenever i think about the things that i/we want for the wedding, it seems so "untraditional". i guess the main thing that we really want is to celebrate this very special day with (close) family and friends... we don't like those awkward "thank you for coming! (who are you??)" kinda thing... i still find it weird when people just invite themselves or assumes that we are going to invite someone whom we haven't seen (and kept in touch with) for like ten years, have met like once in our entire lives, or simply haven't met at all! i am touched that you would like to be a part of our wedding... but, really?? then there are those people who questions and challenges you abou the things how you want your wedding to be like! again, i understand you want to be a part of the wedding planning and all.. but hey, it's my wedding, it's what i want that matters most! hehehe oh my... i just sounded like a bridezilla! :)

moving on...

though it does may sound like wedding is all that i have in my head for some people... i actually have a life. and that life has been dampened by my (stupid) shift. yes, i know, i had asked for it.. and now regretting and suffering tremendously. don't get me wrong, i love my job right now. i am enjoying the new things that i am learning, i enjoy the fact that i don't get stuck doing "administrative" things anymore... i actually see my patients, assess them and be able to hold their hand even for half a minute! it has been crazy, though we have been experiencing low patient ratio lately, which could be seen as a blessing yet also could be scary. scary because i could get used to the three patients a night and wouldn't know what i would do with myself if faced with more than that! blessing, since we could actually request to be off on a specific day if we wanted to instead of floating to another unit... basically staffing the other units! (i think i just digressed from my point..). so, yeah, the night shift... i have put in my request to switch to days (even if it meant busier and stressful shift and lesser income) for a couple of reasons... i actually want to be awake during the times that people are up. instead of being awake at the middle of the night, bored with nothing to do (which usually ends up with me baking...)... and i miss spending time with my hunny... and others. hehehe it's just hard to plan things with family and friends.... i'm always sleeping or have to sleep.. although, i have been staying up even after my shift on my day off (confused? let's just say, if i'm working tonight and off the next, i come home and stay up all day... resulting to being up for about more than 26 hours) it has been working out well... sleep deprived? yes, but hey, it's so worth it.. i get some stuff done!

speaking of getting things done... there are so many things that are left undone for me! i have like a month's worth of photos in my camera that needs to be uploaded, there are books that i have to list down and start to give away (to clear out clutter), there are knick-knacks that i have to put together for my sister... and the list could just go on! why haven't i accomplished these? i really don't have a clue. it just seems like on each day that i am off, something comes up, plans are made, other things that are pending needs immediate attention, i simply get distracted... and there are the days that all i want to do is - nothing. just veg out in the couch, watch my shows... sleep. which, i guess goes back to the fact that my body clock is just so messed up that it confuses my entire system!

then there's church. i am just so happy. and i am not just saying this just because... i actually am in a happy place right now. despite the sleep deprivation and physical and mental exhaustion... i know i am still healthy (haven't gotten the flu this season, so far! just minor throat problems) and am able to serve the Lord. let me digress a bit.... during the days when horacio was trying to introduce me to his church, one of things that i like (now, but felt really weird about before) is the fellowship in the church. people in the church knows each other! i admit, it had became one of the factor why i chose the path i am on right now. the other reason, the main reason, being that i actually sit down during service and listen to the pastor preach (well... maybe there were days that i fell asleep - again, due to my sleep deprivation!). i learn things from what pastor j has been preaching. i know that in Catholic church they do sermon and read from the bible as well.. and am sure that if only i listened more and paid more attention i would actually understand what the priest would be talking about... but it just wasn't the same for me. i still sometimes wonder if i have actually pushed myself and be more active in (Catholic church) would i be in the same place as i am now? then again, God knows what He's doing. He had laid out the plans for me long before i knew there was one! i just learned to trust God more and be simply thankful for the path that He had laid out on me. i am still growing, learning... and i will stumble, but the force is there.

right now, although i am enjoying each moment of my life, i simply can't wait for november 15. yes, november15... i can't wait to be married and start the new chapter in my life with horacio. i know trials won't end and will keep coming... just as long as we have faith in each other and in God... things will just be alright.

anyways... this sleep deprived girl needs to squeeze in some snooze time before the sun rises... more things in the to-do list needs to be crossed out! until then... :)



Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."