A New Chapter

So, it has been more than a year since the last time I visited (contemplated) to blog. A lot of things had happened since then. I got married (November 14, 2009) and it was wonderful wedding. Although my sister could not make it.... My dad made it up by holding a small reception at Sonya's Garden in Tagaytay. Friends and families who could not make it, was able to share our special day during the reception. Horacio and I are truly blessed. We are deeply thankful to God. I also found myself in a cake decorating class. Something that I had been wanting to do for quite a while now, but never got the chance (or the time) to do so.

Now, I start this blog not to (only) digress in the past, but also to let the blogsphere (and soon to be followers... hopefully) about the new challenge that I have taken upon in my life.

I joined and will be running a 13.1 mile marathon on December 5, 2010.

Yes, I will be running. For those who know me well, knows that me and the gym does not go on the same sentence. At first, it was more for a personal benefit - cardio, tone my body, get more active. Then I went to the meeting to register, and I was just inspired. By the way, I am running with Team Challenge to help raise funds for Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America. The "speaker" told us about the runners who participate have Crohn's or ulcerative disease and they run half marathon after half marathon. I looked at myself - here I am healthy as I could be, yet I have done nothing. Sure, I am a nurse and I help people each day... but for some reason, having that as a job does not really count. I get paid to help them. It is my job.

So, thankful that I got talked into attending the meeting (I also got a friend to join), I signed up right then and there.

Here I am now, few hours after my first two mile run (actually it was just 1.8 mile according to our team coach). It was a challenge. But I finished it without throwing up, fainting or sitting down to take a breather! I also finished it under 30 minutes - which at first I thought would be impossible. But yes, I am proud of myself to have finished it and am looking forward to build up my endurance and run more miles. Each mile I run, I dedicate to the cause.

Have I mentioned that this was a fundraiser? Yep, it is. Your donation to the cause will be greatly appreciated, and remember, this is a tax deductable donation! If you wish to donate simply visit: www.active.com/donate/lv10nyc/LVJOng. Eighty cents of each dollar you donate goes directly to Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America to find cure and improve the quality of life of children and adults suffering this disease. Approximately 1.4 million American children and adults are diagnosed with crohn's and ulcerative colitis, and more are suffering in silence.

Again, thanks for your support!!

utmost compliment?

as i was taking care of a patient, i had to step out of the room to grab something quickly. as i came back to the room...

patient's daughter: my mom had just paid you the utmost compliment.
me: huh? (smiles at her and her mom)
patient's daughter: she said that you are most kind, you must be Jewish!
me: oh... (smiles and attends to patient) thank you, but i am not Jewish.

Family Affair

as nurses, we tend to be so nosy. we try (or tend) to find out patient's family affairs, even without trying. sure, there is that routine question "who is your support system?" "who do you live with?" "who takes care of you?" but it's interesting when a patient has been in the hospital for quite sometime, it seems like that's all that it takes to uncover the skeletons in their closets.

but, it's not only patients that we tend to know their personal lives, as nurses working with other nurses, seeing how they care and/or react to certain patient's familial care decisions shows who they are and what they truly believe in.

just one of the experiences that i had in the unit, as i was giving my report to the oncoming nurse.

nurse 1: (after hearing patient's name) she's still here? wow...
me: yep, awaiting placement.
nurse 1: really?? what's taking them so long?
me: well, patient has *these things* that i guess is making it harder for her to be placed.
nurse 1: did you know that she has five kids? and none of them would/could take her in.
me: five kids?? really?
nurse 1: yep, they even offered 24/7 home care, but they still refused. can you believe that?
me: yeah.. that's a shame...
nurse 2: (butts in) but you guys don't know who she was in the past. she might not have treated her kids right in the beginning.
nurse 1: true..
me: i guess so.. but is that reason enough?
nurse 2: well, my mother always told me that it is not my responsibility to take care of her. she always say that people have kids because they want them not because they need someone to take care of them when they grow old.
nurse 1: interesting..
nurse 2: it's true. you don't owe them anything. you don't have to take care of them. they are self-sufficient. they brought you up to be self-sufficient.

... just remembering this dialogue upsets me... it's a whole lot of wrong in what nurse 2 had voiced. i remember just thinking to myself "God bless you." that was all i could say. it was just all wrong. then maybe, i was just brought up differently, believes and cares a whole lot differently.

from my kitchen to..

...yours! (as paula deen would have said). i have been on a roll this past weeks. i have been making so food from my kitchen that is so totally diverse. just this past week alone, i had made italian (spaghetti with spicy red bellpeppers), filipino (pinakbet, chicken marinated in mama sita bbq), chinese (chicken sauteed with some veggies), and indian (chicken curry) food. to top it, i had made my first brownies from scratch and a banana bread!

mind you, i am not a great cook. i can cook, yes, but great - not at all! someone had said a great cook need not a recipe to follow. i mean, i can cook without a recipe, the results could be unpredictable. i really don't know where the passion of making food comes from, but as what my sister had told me "it's in our genes." i guess, she is right... from both sides of my family, food has been a center of everything. we love to gather around the table and just enjoy a great meal and conversation. should i say, the family that eats together, stays together?


i used to remember Ammah (my grandma from my dad's side) would always be in the kitchen making something.. from the peanuts that she would roast and later sell to great chinese food that (i believe) she had learned to make from her parents for us to feast on. too bad, she would usually kick my and my cousin out of the kitchen in fear of us spilling stuff onto ourselves and burn ourselves! it would have been great to have learned how she made all those food that i now still crave for and pass it along my kids.

in the baking arena, i remember my aunt (from my mom's side) would let us lick the batter off the spatula or the mixer attachments after she was done with it! and those times when my cousin and i would sneak into her pantry and eat the candy sprinkles from the jar! the best part of the baking experience that i had as a child was when my cousin (dad's side) would make this fruit cake for christmas. the whole place would just smell of tha rum, fruits and nuts! i could smell it until now.. unfortunately, the recipe is a top secret that i just can't seem to get a hold of!

i could see why people would instantly think that i would love to become a chef for a day, but then again, why would i want to be one if i could always enjoy making things from my kitchen? i just get a nice feeling whenever i see people enjoying the food that i make, and it doesn't hurt to have someone that is more than willing to try the (new) foods that i create!

so, it's been a while...!

wow... time really flies when you are having fun! hehehe

it seems like this blog (and the triumverate's) has been quiet for quite a long time.. no wonder mom has been pestering us on writing about something, anything! well, mom, here you go!

i really don't have anything in mind right now, just the usual random stuff... so... here goes..

wedding plans! well, well, well... that has been on people's lips each time they see me.. it seems like they think of it more that i do! hehehe i can't believe we only have six more months to go!!! although we pretty much have covered most essentials and just the minor details are needed to be taken care of... thank God i haven't been a bridezilla... yet! yes, i must admit i do have my moments of panick attacks, but thank God for horacio and my sister -- they just know how to calm those nerves!!

whenever i think about the things that i/we want for the wedding, it seems so "untraditional". i guess the main thing that we really want is to celebrate this very special day with (close) family and friends... we don't like those awkward "thank you for coming! (who are you??)" kinda thing... i still find it weird when people just invite themselves or assumes that we are going to invite someone whom we haven't seen (and kept in touch with) for like ten years, have met like once in our entire lives, or simply haven't met at all! i am touched that you would like to be a part of our wedding... but, really?? then there are those people who questions and challenges you abou the things how you want your wedding to be like! again, i understand you want to be a part of the wedding planning and all.. but hey, it's my wedding, it's what i want that matters most! hehehe oh my... i just sounded like a bridezilla! :)

moving on...

though it does may sound like wedding is all that i have in my head for some people... i actually have a life. and that life has been dampened by my (stupid) shift. yes, i know, i had asked for it.. and now regretting and suffering tremendously. don't get me wrong, i love my job right now. i am enjoying the new things that i am learning, i enjoy the fact that i don't get stuck doing "administrative" things anymore... i actually see my patients, assess them and be able to hold their hand even for half a minute! it has been crazy, though we have been experiencing low patient ratio lately, which could be seen as a blessing yet also could be scary. scary because i could get used to the three patients a night and wouldn't know what i would do with myself if faced with more than that! blessing, since we could actually request to be off on a specific day if we wanted to instead of floating to another unit... basically staffing the other units! (i think i just digressed from my point..). so, yeah, the night shift... i have put in my request to switch to days (even if it meant busier and stressful shift and lesser income) for a couple of reasons... i actually want to be awake during the times that people are up. instead of being awake at the middle of the night, bored with nothing to do (which usually ends up with me baking...)... and i miss spending time with my hunny... and others. hehehe it's just hard to plan things with family and friends.... i'm always sleeping or have to sleep.. although, i have been staying up even after my shift on my day off (confused? let's just say, if i'm working tonight and off the next, i come home and stay up all day... resulting to being up for about more than 26 hours) it has been working out well... sleep deprived? yes, but hey, it's so worth it.. i get some stuff done!

speaking of getting things done... there are so many things that are left undone for me! i have like a month's worth of photos in my camera that needs to be uploaded, there are books that i have to list down and start to give away (to clear out clutter), there are knick-knacks that i have to put together for my sister... and the list could just go on! why haven't i accomplished these? i really don't have a clue. it just seems like on each day that i am off, something comes up, plans are made, other things that are pending needs immediate attention, i simply get distracted... and there are the days that all i want to do is - nothing. just veg out in the couch, watch my shows... sleep. which, i guess goes back to the fact that my body clock is just so messed up that it confuses my entire system!

then there's church. i am just so happy. and i am not just saying this just because... i actually am in a happy place right now. despite the sleep deprivation and physical and mental exhaustion... i know i am still healthy (haven't gotten the flu this season, so far! just minor throat problems) and am able to serve the Lord. let me digress a bit.... during the days when horacio was trying to introduce me to his church, one of things that i like (now, but felt really weird about before) is the fellowship in the church. people in the church knows each other! i admit, it had became one of the factor why i chose the path i am on right now. the other reason, the main reason, being that i actually sit down during service and listen to the pastor preach (well... maybe there were days that i fell asleep - again, due to my sleep deprivation!). i learn things from what pastor j has been preaching. i know that in Catholic church they do sermon and read from the bible as well.. and am sure that if only i listened more and paid more attention i would actually understand what the priest would be talking about... but it just wasn't the same for me. i still sometimes wonder if i have actually pushed myself and be more active in (Catholic church) would i be in the same place as i am now? then again, God knows what He's doing. He had laid out the plans for me long before i knew there was one! i just learned to trust God more and be simply thankful for the path that He had laid out on me. i am still growing, learning... and i will stumble, but the force is there.

right now, although i am enjoying each moment of my life, i simply can't wait for november 15. yes, november15... i can't wait to be married and start the new chapter in my life with horacio. i know trials won't end and will keep coming... just as long as we have faith in each other and in God... things will just be alright.

anyways... this sleep deprived girl needs to squeeze in some snooze time before the sun rises... more things in the to-do list needs to be crossed out! until then... :)



Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

par-tay!

so... i have gone and back from a week and a half of vacation. it was a pretty good timing that i have requested the vacation days... actually had made a mistake of requesting, was supposed to request the following week! but, as always, God had planned for it.. and things worked out well.

mom had requested for a birthday party, and a party she got. after about a week planning, her party came out as a success. i decorated the place with banner and red balloons, i made sure the curtains matched - red! everything was just red... hehehe the food was abundant... enough to fill the guests and then some to take home with them. mom had her cupcakes and birthday cakes. after the party and reflecting on it, i'm surprised at myself for being able to pull everything off. of course, it wouldn't be possible without the help of my family and horacio... :)

next thing on the calendar: may faith's baby shower! it's gonna be my second time to plan a baby shower, this time for it's gonna be a baby girl!! pink and yellow, here we come! :) i'm both excited and unsure on how to play about this shower. most of the guests wouldn't be the people that i really know... unlike the previous baby shower i threw (for mommy chi!). but, i just hope i would be able to fix the place up nicely and coordinate things with manang bing. now.. how will my cupcakes look like this time... :)

wedding-mania

ok, it's almost 2:15 in the morning and have to be up by 7:30 to meet up with my cousin, but i just have to blog about this.

am actually over this topic, over being annoyed and irritated. now, i just find it amusingly embarassing, not for myself but for these people!

let me digress... when my sister and i had started to talk about the wedding and what it entails, she didn't fail to remind me over and over again that there would be a lot of stressors, stressors that i really could just block and could never be avoided (i.e.: mom trying to take over the planning.. etc.). i must say, mom has been good with inviting people and had kept to her limit (thanks mother!).

then.. there's the others! i got a call from my aunt, a voicemail actually and it went like this: "jen, pinadalhan mo daw sila ____ at ____ ng invitations, pero hindi mo daw napadalhan si ____. siya lang daw ang hindi nakatanggap. padalhan mo daw siya name is _____ address, same address as (the other relatives)." ["jen, you sent invites to ___ and ___, but you forgot to send _____ one. send him one, his name is _____, same address as the (other relatives)."] horacio must have seen the look on my face. i was totally annoyed! i mean, the guest list was mainly those people that horacio and i know personally, since we were on a budget and all as well. then this guy just "requested" to be invited. his now doesn't ring a bell, i don't having a conversation with him or meeting him for that matter! then my mom calls, i asked if she knew this person. she told me yes, and the story gets more interesting! apparently, the "main" person and reason why i included them on the guestlist wouldn't be able to make it due to her situation... and had told this guy to attend on her behalf. the guy was glad to accept the offer and asked "sino ba ang sa atin, ang babae o lalake?" i was just speechless. i didn't know how to react! i mean, here he was saddened by the fact that i didn't send him an invite (save the date), yet he doesn't even know who was getting married! the nerve, right?? so i told horacio the "continuation" of the story and he couldn't stop laughing! it's just so... you think of the word to perfectly describe this!

then mom's story continues.... she spoke to one of her relatives. she mentioned that they have received the save the dates and that some other relatives (who i maybe have met when i was....) are staying with them and told my mom to tell me to send them invites too!! take note.. relativeS! mom told them she wouldn't ask me to do so (thank you so much mom!!). but, guess what? this person had insisted my mom to ask me, since she is the "mother". then she continues on asking if i had invited one of my aunts... mom just replied "i think so." i mean, who are they and why do they care so much who i invite and don't??? i mean, their kids had gotten married in the past years and did my mom tell them to invite pontious pilate??

i was so furious when i heard these stories, and i could just hear my sister: there are more things to come, this is just the beginning. i'm really over in by now, well.. maybe a bit irritated still. but who wouldn't be? i guess, i should be flattered... after all, they all want (and begging??) to be invited to my big day after all! hehe

communication

This is a big thing, or should I call it – struggle for me. Yes, I know, I have cellphone, fully aware of it and it only takes a button or two to call someone. Ever since, I have not been a big on calling other people. I’d rather text than call. I mean, I do call. I call people whenever I have to meet them and let them know I’m running late or to find out where exactly they are at. And most of the time, I screen my calls – but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I always ignore your call. I always have the habit to put my cellphone on silent mode or vibrate, especially when going to work, and forget to put it back on ‘normal’ mode – which the other reason why most of the time I don’t know when people have been trying to get in touch with me. There are also days, when I wouldn’t know where I last placed my phone, and wouldn’t be bothered really looking for it – until people start calling horacio just to find out my whereabouts and if I’m ok. I just, am not that attached to my phone. Yes, I bring it around with me when I go out… and I do find it necessary to have (I have gone a day without one while I was out, and I felt like an idiot having to ask someone if I could use their phone!). But I’m just not someone who would sit down and pick up my phone and call other people to “chat”. I would rather hang-out with you and chat with you in person. Hence, I lose touch with people. See, if I don’t call you, how am I supposed to plan something and meet up with you? So, I realized that I am the type of person who are friends with a lot of people, and keeps friends who you don’t necessarily have to talk to every day and discuss every single detail of your life. I have a friend in college, we used to meet up like once a year (until she got married, moved back to Philippines, and now lives in texas…) and that was enough for us. we kept our friendship, we know what’s going on with each other’s lives. We don’t always call each other as well, we usually play phone tags (see, if you call me and leave me a message, I will call you back) but when we do catch each other, we would be on the phone for like hours!

I also realized that the best way for me to keep in touch with people is through email. I guess, writing for me is some kind of therapy. I would rather write my feelings than say it out loud. Since Sunday school began (again) in January, we were “assigned” to a prayer partner. Meaning, we had to call each other and talk about how each other was doing, create a relationship outside the class. At first, I knew it was going to be a struggle for me… just the words ‘call each other’, I knew I was going to disappoint my prayer partner(s). I was honest with them though, I told them I’m not a big phone person, and having the schedule that I have, it would also be near to impossibility to catch me on “normal” hours. So, we decided to communicate via email, and I find myself being able to respond more, communicate more.. I don’t know if it’s just because I was doing it more because it’s according to my own time and my own convenience. As I was responding to an email, I was thinking, I could have just called her and told these things to her myself… then again, the other reason why I don’t like calling – time. Yes, I may be free right now… but how about the other party? Sometimes, I feel like I’m taking much of their time or I could be in a middle of a thought and something would distract me or miss out on something. I don’t know. I’m just ADD like that.

On the other hand, maybe I just am not a big fan of picking up the phone and calling people because I grew up without a phone. Growing up my friends and I met in school, hang out, planned things, visit one another at our abode. The day that a phone was installed at our place, I was excited, I finally could call friends!! But that didn’t last too long… I would rather wait until I see them and talk to them and share things with them.

Call me a bad daughter, sister, friend, but this is just me. It’s a struggle, I know, but if you really want to talk to me, call me and leave me a message. If I don’t call you back, call me again or better, email me. I just hope people would understand and not think I am simply ignoring them.

ramblings...

It’s been a while since I have last updated. A really long while… nope, I have no other excuses but lack of time or maybe just lack of energy…

A lot of things have had happened for the past couple of weeks… since my last update. Time really does flies so fast, I had just remembered celebrating New Year, and now it’s February! We got at least 9 months to go until the BIG day! Wow… NINE MONTHS! I can’t believe this! As I was described once on how I am approaching this wedding planning… very relaxed. I guess I am too relaxed that the rest of the save the dates are still sitting here at home! No, I am not trying to procrastinate, or having second thoughts about things… it’s just that, I was hoping to get all the guests’ mailing address so that I could just send them out all at once… but of course, things happen… people happen… life happens…and I have now resolved to just send them out, in batches! So, today, that’s my goal, put stamps in them and mail them out!

Then of course there’s this thing that I’m planning for my entourage (bridesmaids and groomsmen only) that I have been trying to work on… but each time I get the chance to sit down and work on it… something about it is just amiss and I couldn’t get myself to continue with it… will now have to ask my brother to re-edit the layout (just minor change! Sorry!!). I guess too much for me being relaxed? Actually, I really don’t know if I am relaxed about the whole planning or not… maybe it’s just because we got most of the major things out of the way (reception, ceremony, dj, entourage list)… so, yeah… I am considering the limo, hotel, florist and dresses to be minor ones… hehehe

So far, January has proven to be a bit trying – both personal and work wise. Like I have said a couple times, I am trying. I’m trying to be a better person. I’m trying to walk in the light of the Lord. There are days though, when I couldn’t help but utter words that isn’t nice. When I tend to judge people especially when they get into my nerves… when they say certain things when certain people are around, yet act a different way when that person isn’t around. I know I may not make sense to most of you… but am sure a couple of you get my drift. It’s just hard whenever you try, only to be disappointed or know that they will never see that you are indeed trying… everything in life is a two-way street my friend, the other party should also try… but that’s the bad thing, the other party (I think!) is not willing to try!! But, whatever… like I said…I am trying my hardest. I don’t really plan to expect anything but recognition, I guess.

Work wise… the unit has been a chaos… one day we were general medicine unit, the next day a surge of cardio-vascular patients… then now we are back on general medicine only to for the floor to welcome us with cardio-vascular-thoracic step down patients!! I said welcome, because right now, after the fire episode last week, they had to kick us out from our unit and make it into a “swing” unit to make way for other units to be thoroughly cleaned. So, for the next six weeks we will be all over the hospital… half of us would be in the unit opened just for us (to accept medicine patients) and the other half of the staff would be doing orientation at the cardiac-vascular and maybe intensive care units. I mean, I guess it works out for the better… we get more time to get oriented and learn more about these kind of patients, the protocols… it’s a good growth experience. Like the cardiac nursing director had said “we could see this as glass half empty and glass half full.” I am TRYING to see it as glass half full. And of course… there’s the transition for me to go to days! Yes, I have finally made up mind earlier on the month of January and spoke to our manager. I didn’t know that the transition would be happening soon (March!) but since, a couple of nurses are leaving for other units… the opening is just there to be filled in. I am looking forward to this. Finally, normalcy in my body clock! Or so I hope!!!

This month as well… I have (with horacio) taken a step forward in my walk with Christ. We got baptized on the 25th of January! I have been thinking about getting baptized… and ever since we had spoken to the pastor (who will be marrying us)… I know I want God to be the center of our relationship. I know that there is no stronger foundation but God. Not only that, I personally feel so blessed that I am slowly getting to know Christ better. Learning of His words and understanding them. And because of this, I was able to reach out to a patient and lift him up. One thing is helping patients and making sure they are comfortable…. There’s another thing knowing that you personally lifted their spirits up with words of Christ. I saw the same patient again after few weeks of being discharged (he was back on the unit) and he had told me how thankful he is that I was able to speak to him the way I did, how much I have helped him… it was a nice feeling, but of course, as I told the patient… thank God for making me a vessel.

2009 had just begun… and there are so much things that had happened… these are some of the thoughts that are hovering around me… so… I just pray that as the days come, I pray for strength, patience and understanding. I just feel so blessed and grateful to the Lord. For always keeping me and seeing me through.

Oh, before i go…. Jollibee in woodside is opening on valentine’s day!! Or so I heard… J I can’t wait for this!! I can’t wait to taste that langhap sarap chicken joy once more… unfortunately, I was told that they wouldn’t be serving jolly hotdogs… boo!!!

Merry Christmas!!!