Isis Honorable, straightforward and idealistic. Active and self-confident. Colors: male: white, female: blue Compatible Signs: Osiris, Thoth Dates: Mar 11 - Mar 31, Oct 18 - Oct 29, Dec 19 - Dec 31 Role: Goddess of motherhood, women, and magic; goddess of the South; protector of Imseti (the son of Horus who watched over the canopic jar containing the liver) Appearance: Woman wearing the hieroglyph for "throne" on her head What is Your Egyptian Zodiac Sign? Designed by CyberWarlock of Warlock's Quizzles and Quandaries

Can anyone tell me why there is such law?

Happy Pumpkin Pie Day!! :)

i know thanksgiving day is all about the turkey. i still am an amateur about this things and slowly (really slowly!) trying to get into the turkey-thanksgiving day thing. since we really don't celebrate thanksgiving in philippines. and the fact that i am still scared even with the thought of roasting/basting/stuffing a 20 lb turkey (we got it for free then i gave it away!).

anyways, as my first attempt to make something that is known for thanksgiving - pumpkin pie. after pumpkin-cream cheese splashing all over my kitchen counter top (which i think bubbles enjoyed!) here is the result of my hard labor...

isn't it gorgeous? delicious looking? i know.. this was actually my second attempt. the first one came out okay too but this one the better looking one.

too bad my sous chef (yes, horacio is usually my sous chef) is not around. no one was there to look after my work and take pictures of me as i make my first pumpkin pie... as he did when i made my first fruit tart (see previous post).

anyways, (pat-on-my-shoulder) i did a pretty good job. i now just hope that i tastes delish as it looks. horacio's family and aunts will be the judge of this.... crossing my fingers, hoping for a good review!!!

****************

going to poconos in a couple of hours with the familia. HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!! :)

....

Sometimes I don't get people. Why do people love to put blame? Why do they love twisting stories? Why do they rather listen to someone else rather than go to the main source and find out themselves? Why do people love to put someone down? What gain do this people get? What satisfaction do they obtain from someone else's downfall? Why can't they accept that they are at fault as well?

Kutless Concert

I just got home from my first Christian band concert. It was one of a kind. I mean, I knew the band and all, I listened to their cds (thanks to Horacio and Nancy for introducing Christian music). I guess I was just simply amazed how bad my stereotyping could be.

When we got to the place, they were searching bags and they had metal detectors. I was like, this is a Christian band concert, right? Why would there be any violence? Then the rules were set - you could take tons of photos but no videos and no moshing. Moshing?? Does that happen during a Christian music concert? Then, after the first front act by Run Kid Run (which I heard for the first time and liked) I guess people could go overboard, a bit. Then the second (Red) and third act (Disciple) was really, really, really heavy rock music. I couldn't really appreciate them since I couldn't understand a single word of most of their songs. It was really loud that Nancy, Marleni and Horacio had to take a break from the concert.

Then Kutless came on. The lead singer wasn't in good shape but gave a really great show. I am so glad that they performed the songs that I like. The drummer was really great too, he had a solo act and it was absolutely great. But hey, don't take my word for it, since I really am not a great heavy music fan. The drummer's cute looks also contributed to my little crush on him. :) If only I knew how to play the drums or any instrument for that matter....

Anyways, the concert ended and we were starving!! Nancy had to, unfortunately, go straight home for she has a long trip and she has an early day tomorrow. So, Emmanuel, Horacio, Marleni and I trooped to McDonald's and all ordered the same thing - Big Mac meal and four-piece chicken nuggets. What a great way to end the night. :)

So, thank you Nancy and Horacio for taking us and introducing Christian music to us and for letting me see that Christian comes in different forms, they could be punk rock, heavy metal music lovers too. :)

Chinese as as Second Language

Eversince I moved to New York, I found myself telling people (or shall I say denying?) that I am not Chinese, instead I am Filipino. I justify it by saying that I was born and grew up in the Philippines, hence, I am Filipino and not Chinese. At first I thought it was just a subconcious reaction when people ask me if I am Chinese. It's not that I am ashamed of my Chinese blood (which runs very strongly through my veins), or that I am ashamed of my family (which never was the case, no matter how dysfunctional we could be). Then I realized, it was more of me being embarass not knowing how to speak the Chinese language (Fu-chien or Mandarin).

Yesterday, I went to see my doctor, she's Filipino-Chinese. She asked me where I was from and I answered Philippines readily. Then she asked me "Eyaw kong nanang? Mandarin?" ("Know how to speak Chinese?"). I smiled sheepishly and replied "Tampo." ("Just a little bit.") She then ask me (like most Chinese people would ask when answered as such) "Why only a little?" I didn't really know what or how to answer her question. Shall I say, I didn't graduate Chinese school, that I got retained four times (yes, FOUR times) in first year highschool, or, shall I blame my dad for not training or forcing us to speak the Chinese language? I knew she was waiting for an answer, so I just told her the I/we really weren't able to practice speaking Chinese. Then she continued asking me if both my parents were Chinese (thank God for inter-racial marriages), the pressure was lifted a bit when I told her that my mom is Filipina and my dad is Chinese. The topic ended when she asked me my health history (surgery-wise).

As Horacio and I walked home, I somehow felt guilty for blaming my dad for not forcing us to speak Chinese at home. Surely, my grandmother forced us to speak Chinese. That was her way of communicating with us. I remember that she would converse with me in Chinese whenever we came to visit, and I would understand her at some point, but then I would turn (subtley) to my cousin who would stand behind her for help. At one point in my life, I was eager to learn Chinese, my cousin (the same cousin) would teach me words (since her mom and dad forced them to learn to speak even as a young child and would scold them when they spoke to them in Tagalog). Then, I just lost interest.

Then I came here in New York, people would come up to me and just talk to me in Chinese (usually Cantonese or Mandarin) and I would just smile and shake my head and they'll go away. That really leaves me feeling bad for them (and myself). I would think - if I only learned how to speak, I maybe able to help them. Then a memory of my during my kindergarten class in Iloilo, our Chinese teacher would try convince us to learn Chinese, for whichever profession you go to you would encounter Chinese people and it would come in handy. She gave being a doctor or a nurse as an example and trying to give an injection. She went and acted it, and she said how ridiculous it would be.

When I went back to college, I thought about taking some Chinese courses and try to re-learn everything. I would see Chinese characters and its pronunciation written on the library board, but the more I saw it, the more I got scared, even embarassed. Yes, I am embarassed for not learning how to speak Chinese. All these years, the consolation that I had and in my defense is that at least I am able to understand Chinese, and I was even able to speak to my dad's employer before who only spoke and understood Chinese. I was able to deliver the message to him that my dad was not home and won't be back until later that evening, and I was able to pass the message to my dad that his boss called and that he will call back or to call him back. In addition to that, whenever we go back the Philippines, hearing my dad, aunts and uncles speaking in Chinese makes me feel at home. It makes me feel like I really belong there. Weird, I know.

I really don't know the point in this post.. probably just want to ramble on or simply just try to organize the thoughts in my head. Sometimes I wish I had a therapist that could just listen to me ramble on and on, organize my thoughts for me and subsequently finding answers to all the questions or explanations to my feelings/thoughts. For now, I have this blog (and Horacio).

sleepless nightsssss

this past few weeks, i haven't really been sleeping well. i get at least eight hours, but i wake up still tired and not ready to face the day. yet, i still drag myself out of the bed. i have been contemplating on calling in sick just so i could stay in bed few minutes longer and see if there is a chance of me feeling rejuvinated after a couple more hours of sleep. yet, i find myself getting ready for another day at work. there are two reasons for me going to work. one reason is that i feel bad for leaving shushana all by herself on the days that winsome is out. secondly, i need the money. christmas is around the corner, horacio has bought almost half of the gifts on our list, i have to do my share too. although i have good reasons for staying at home (i.e. review for my nclex, rest some more or clean the house). i guess i'm just afraid that if i do decide to just stay home, i would just end up staying in bed in my pjs the rest of the day. making it a very unproductive day.

i guess, that's why i miss being back in school. i could always go to school in the morning and if i don't feel good, i could always just come home and rest. although school also requires long nights, i am perfectly fine with it. it makes me feel productive knowing that i am learning new things everyday. writing those ten page papers may be a big pain, but as soon as i submit the paper and receiving a great mark on it, the tiredness and stress fades.

being here in the office, somehow sucks the life out of me. i leave at four everday, yet i come home feeling like i was working 12 hours. i felt like i have no energy left in my life. when i was doing 12 hour shifts in the hospital during nursing school (back-to-back shift) i felt fine. i still have enough energy to even go shopping/window shopping or go out to dinner with friends/family. i guess the difference is that i leave the hospital knowing that i was able to help someone and although there are some patients who just enjoys hating you, i still know that i was able to touch their lives and was able to meet their needs. but here, it's totally different story. although some of my co-worker are fun to work, gossip with. we could still somehow lighten up the mood no matter how tired and eager for our day to end.

i guess... i just need to pass that nclex, move on with my life and see from there...

nursing care plan

i was just scanning my nursing care plans for a friend from work who is now in nursing school. it's weird hearing other people's experiences in nursing school now that i am done with it. it somehow makes me wanna go back to nursing school and do all those stuff all over again, when before i couldn't wait to be over with school.

looking through those nursing care plans, all the binder that i have for all of my notes, the lectures, and papers that we did back in nursing school made me remember the times that i did them. i remember finishing a care plan, realizing that i need to include interventions that has something to do with medication and/or nutrition and just handing it as it is. i remember doing med cards during nutrition class so that nancy, horacio, juanes and i could go to cold stone after class. the sleepover at nancy's dorm room during finals night. the time when i missed the last day of lab because i stayed up all night (really!) finishing up a term paper and a handbook that would go with it. i remember having my aim on and some classmates would be sending me messages stating that they are on the same page. subnitting the project just on time and getting a great grade on it. those days when we would go to baruch library to cram seems so far away now.

nursing school has been great for me. i enjoyed each moment of it, stress and feeling such a failure included.

now, i miss making nursing care plans, i miss making those med cards - looking it up learning about it, i even miss making the patient's bed and talking with them especially the elderly... i guess nursing is it for me.

for those who are currently in nursing school good luck to you and hope that by the end of a long day in the hospital, you'd feel such great feeling knowing that you were able to help out someone and making them smile no matter how pain they could get.

those who are in the process of getting into nursing school - once you get into nursing school, don't forget to have fun. that would really help you in the long run. but of course, everything in moderation.

Rant(s) Page

Things that annoys me:

• People chewing (especially gum) with an open mouth that you can see the gum being chewed and you here that chewing sound. Don't people know how to chew properly??
• Guys who takes up two seats on the subway - not because they are big, but because their legs have to be so apart. I don't get it... does it have to breathe so much?!? Most of the time these guys are the ones who wear those big and very loose pants. How much air does it need??
• Speaking of which, those guys who wear pants waaay below their hips and wears big shirts that hangs just above their knees. What's the reason behind this couture?
• Guys who mutters "Ni hao ma?" upon passing by them. What's even more annoying is they say it more than once. What are they thinking?
• It's also annoying when a you're walking and all of a sudden they walk next to you or behind you and they call you beautiful or whatever... do they really expect you to turn to them and give them your number?? So annoying!!
• People who can't own up to their mistakes and loves to blame other people or pulls other people down with them, and when they do, they act like they are innocent of anything that went wrong. GROW UP!
• People who think that money and material things can make-up for everything that they have failed to do.
• People who make you feel guilty for the things they fail to do, and make you do that things that they failed to accomplish.
• Those who are boisterous on the subway and when someone tells them to tone it down, they have the nerve to answer back.
• People who pushes their way in the subway car when there is a hairline of a space and they scream "Please move in!!!"
• In connection to the previous statement... when people on the subway won't move into the center, stands there by the door, won't budge when there is ALOT of space way inside the subway car - and you see them acting like the car is so packed.
• People who calls other people stupid.
• Those who make up things to gain sympathy.

I don't know... I just feel like ranting today... I think there'll be more to come.

Don't bother me...

the things this spoiled girl got!

this girl is spoiled!

after trying so hard to be stubborn (which was actually fun and easy) about staying in bed instead of going out, i am so glad that horacio won over my stubborness.

we went to queens center mall, after postponing the trip on wednesday. horacio wanted to get me a jacket for winter, since my old gap jacket doesn't provide enough warmth anymore (note to self: follow washing directions on labels especially on jackets!). although i have been wanting the timberland jacket so badly, i just couldn't bring myself to get horacio to buy it for me (since i also wanted new shoes). we made a deal, he'll get me shoes and a jacket but if we can't find a good jacket, then he would get me the timberland one and no shoes.

so off we went to queens center mall and threaded through the racks of macy's and jc penny. with much indecision, we passed by swatch to see if maria was there working and thought to dropped by since we haven't seen each other in a long time. so glad, we re-scheduled the shopping, since maria was out on wednesday. we caught up with her (thanks to slow day at swatch) and was able to chat for a good hour. we planned on meeting up again, soon, hopefully before we started to get "real" jobs. then off we went to forever21, since i needed some pants for work and was hoping to see the leaflet dress that i saw online a couple of months ago. too my disappointment, the dress was nowhere in sight. but i was able to try on at least six pants and deciding on getting two. i was ready to pay for the pants when horacio insisted that he pays for it. then we passed by victoria's secret and bought those pink underwears that was on sale (since bubbles just had a buffet with my laundry bad the other night!). finally deciding that we get the jacket from macy's, we passed by ninewest, still finding hope that i may see the (pumps) shoes that i have been wanting but having the most difficult time finding the right ones. then we saw that the iluvmyflats sandals were on sale, cut the story short, he got me three of those sandals. then back to macy's we find ourselves, getting the jacket.

so, i did not only get the jacket that would keep warm this winter, but i also got three flat sandals, victoria's secret pink undies, and two pants from forever 21. i just feel so spoiled, but hey... it was part of my birthday present! :)